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mr_bodeezy
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Name: Josh
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Lansing
Birthday: 7/5/1990
Gender: Male
Interests: Romance, running, sports (football, basketball, tennis), hangin out with my guy friends, hangin out with my girlfriends, paintball, vandalism, lesbians (what man doesnt just wonder), gods purpose for me, my 2 cats spot and titan, my dog brutus, foreplay, and what women want.
Expertise: NFL, basketball, romance, paintball, vandalism, being lazy at an inopportune time, old, light and heavy rock (AC/DC, Twisted Sister, Disturbed, Incubus, Velvet Revolver, Guns n roses, Fallout boy, Blink 182, jimi hendrix), hip-hop (Afroman, Ludacris, Grand master flash, Sean paul, Eminem, dre, tupac, and whatever is boomin my stereo)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/19/2005
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| I said I wasnt gonna write in here, but too bad. In the past week I've had dreams come true, and dreams broken.
I've sectretly had feelings for someone, and I've been afraid to hide them for the longest time. Things took a drastic change when I realized she felt the same. Its funny how two people can be the best of friends, and hide deeper feelings that in the end turn out to be mutual. I havent been this pleased with my life in a long time.
Eve 6- Inside out
I would swallow my pride I would choke on the
rhines But the lack thereof would leave me
empty inside I would swallow my doubt turn it
inside out find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender heart it in a blender Watch
it spin round to a beautiful oblivion Rendezvous
then I'm through with you I burn burn like a
wicker cabinet chalk white and oh so frail I see
out time has gotten stale The tick tock of the
clock is painful All sane and logical I want to
tear it off the wall I hear words and clips and
phrases I think sick like ginger ale My stomach
turns and I exhale So Cal is where my mind
states but it's not my state of mind I'm not as
ugly sad as you Or am I origami Folded up and
just pretend demented as the motives in your
head I alone am the one you don't know you
need me take heed feed your ego Make me blind
when your eyes close sink when you get close
tie me to the bedpost.
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| I'm not writing in here anymore. If you wanna read just go to my blog on myspace. I dedicate this last entry to a special person... you know who you are.
"I miss you"
Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in backround of the morgue
The unsespecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never end
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me your already the voice inside my head
I miss you miss you
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| Have you ever liked a person to a point where you hated them? | | |
| ...he will be okay.
Today is May 9th. Exactly one year ago, my dad got released from prison after his five year sentence. To bad he didnt make it a whole year. I guess I should be sad, but I'm just frustrated, angry, and really disappointed. I have decided that I am only going to use this blog to vent and express myself when I am sad and angry, so I dont really care who reads this.
You promised me you wouldnt leave me again. You've made so many promises that you couldnt keep. I trusted you again after you lied and left me, and you just did it again. I was that stupid to get close to you. I should have given up on you a long time ago. Your so fuckin lucky we dont have a three strike law in Michigan you stupid sizzle-dick peice of shit! Drugs and women are more important than me? I guess I'm just selfish right? Who the fucks gonna take care of my dog? You know damn well mom wont let me keep him at home. "he's too big and he'd ruin my house!" Why the fuck are you so damn stupid! Just keep your shit together you dumb fuck! Is it really that hard! I did all that I could for you! Dont even expect me to come visit you either.....ever! Eminem has the best songs when your angry
"Say Goodbye Hollywood"
[Chorus]
Sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
Sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
Sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
Sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
{Hollywood}, sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
{Why do I feel this way}, sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
Sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
Sayin' goodbye, sayin' goodbye to Hollywood
[Verse 1]
I thought I had it all figured out, I did
I thought I was tough enough to stick it out with Kim
But I wasn't tough enough to juggle two things at once
I found myself layin' on my knees in cuffs
Which should've been a reason enough, for me to get my stuff and just leave
How come I couldn't see this shit myself, it's just me
Nobody couldn't see the shit I felt
Knowin' damn well she wasn't gonna be there when I fell, to catch me
The minute shit was heated she just bailed
i'm standin' here swingin' on like thirty people by myself
I couldn't even see the millimetere when it fell
Turned around saw Gary stashin' the heater in his belt
Saw the bouncers rush him and beat him to the ground
I just sold two million records, I don't need to go to jail
I'm not about to lose my freedom over no female
I need to slow down
Try to get my feet on solid ground, so for now i'm...
[CHORUS]
[Verse 2]
Bury my face in comic books, cause I don't want to look
At nothin', this world's too much
I've swallowed all I could
If I could swallow a bottle of tylenol I would, and end it for good
Just say goodbye to Hollywood
I probably should, these problems are piling all at once
Cause everything that bothers me, I got it bottled up
I think i'm bottomin' out
But i'm not about to give up, I gotta get up
Thank God, I got a little girl
And I'm a responsible father
So not a lot of good, i'd be to my daughter layin' in the bottom of the mud
Must be in my blood cause I don't know how I do it
All I know is I don't want to follow in the footsteps of my dad
Cause I hate him so bad
The worst fear that I had was growin' up to be like his fuckin' ass, man
If you could understand why I am the way that I am
What do I say to my fans, when I tell 'em i'm...
[CHORUS]
[Verse 3]
I don't wanna quit, but shit, I feel like this is it
For me to have this much appeal like this is sick
This is not a game, this fame, in real life this is sick
Publicity stunt my ass, conceal my fuckin' dick
Fuck the guns, i'm done, i'll never look at gats
If I scrap, i'll scrap like I ain't never whooped some ass
I love my fans
But no one ever puts a grasp on the fact i've sacrificed everything I have
I never dreamt i'd get to the level that i'm at, this is whack
This is more than I ever could of asked
everywhere I go, a hat, a sweater hood, or mask
What about math, how come I wasn't ever good at that
It's like the boy in the bubble, who never could adapt, i'm trapped
If I could go back, I never woulda rapped
I sold my soul to the devil, i'll never get it back
I just wanna leave this game with level head intact
Imagine goin' from bein' a no one to seein',
everything blow up and all you did was just grow
up emceeing
It's fuckin' crazy
Cause all I wanted was to give Hailie the life I never had
But instead I forced us to live alienated, so i'm sayin'...
[CHORUS]
[Outro]
Goodbye, goodbye Hollywood, {Goodbye},
please don't cry for me, when i'm gone for good, {this shit is not for me},
so goodbye, goodbye Hollywood,
{i'm not a fuckin' star}, please don't cry
for me, when I'm gone for good, {i'm goin' back home}...
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| I guess I am going to prom now, so.... I hope I have a good time. I'm getting in with Robyn, but she isnt my date. Jill said somethin about going with Ashley as my date. I'm not really sure though. I guess I still like her a little, but not like I used to. I used to want nothing more than to be with her, but now its just all kinda faded. i guess you can only be pushed away so far before you just give up. Oh well. I probably shouldnt have written any of this. It will probably come back to haunt me. Maybe it wont. I'm not saying anything bad about her, just whats been goin on.
The one question I still dont know is "Do I still want to go out with Ashley?" Well, here are some lyrics. I heard this song last night while I was trying to sleep, and it just caught my ear.
Puddle of Mudd "Blurry"
Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face
Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far
[Chorus]
Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway
[Chorus]
This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
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